See gbeke everywhere, Chimamanda Adichie our very own “Americannah” champion refused to be addressed as a Mrs. even while she is married and prefers to be addressed as a Miss. This happened recently in an interview she granted to Sun Newspaper. It’s the trending headline now and everyone is talking about it.
Should a woman retain her maiden name after getting married as the likes of Ngozi Okonjo Iweala?
Aunty Ngozi’s professor father is a King from the Umu Obi Obahai Royal Family of Ogwashi-Uku in Delta state. I’m sure that name will open doors for her and she will always be affiliated with her father’s name and prestige. Imagine Nelson Mandela or a Bill Gates as your father, that name will still open doors for you and bring some form of favor. A Romolake Gates XYZ won’t be a bad idea though. You can always hyphenate both names; maiden and the other just as Abike Dabiri-Erewa and Omotola Jalade-Ekehinde. Some women even adopt their husband’s first and second names like Tara Fela-Durotoye.
Should a woman drop her husband’s name after getting divorced especially when she has made a name with it like Fathia Balogun? Saheed Balogun, her ex-husband even dragged her to court recently on this same issue. He wants her to drop his name and Aunty Fathia is not even bulging.
Should Graciemama with full names Grace Egbibhalu Efezokhae retain her maiden name after getting married? See the long name nau, is it not mouthful enough. What If I get married to someone with a surname as Ireoluwasimikolakawe. So by retaining my maiden name Grace Egbibhalu Efezokhae Ireoluwasimikolakawe, ah mogbe, I am so sure I will be banned from filling plenty forms….heheheheh!
Some women are of the opinion that they honor their fathers by retaining their names after marriage. A certain lady changed her facebook name a day after her wedding to her husband’s name. Her father was whining to her mother that her change of name was done quickly. The woman just teased the man that when he was dancing to Wizkid’s “pakurumo” song on his daughter’s wedding day, he didn’t know what he was doing abi. What if you retain his name all in the name of honoring him and you don’t even show love and concern to him afterwards. It’s all a matter of perception.
Should it really be a big deal? As long as both parties consent to the decision, who are we to fault it. Joke Silva has been married to Olu Jacobs for many years and she has retained her maiden name all through. While sometimes ago a 36-year-old Nigerian civil servant asked a Lagos customary court to dissolve his two-year-old marriage over his 35-year-old wife’s refusal to change her surname to his.
Dropping your maiden name after getting married is not a function of the fruitfulness or success of your union. Whatever rocks your boat as long as the couple are both rocking, be happy and neglect the status quo. It seems not to be easy for some people as dropping a maiden name is not the same as a bride tossing her bouquet of roses to a lucky friend on her wedding day.
What’s your take though?
It’s all a matter of choice.